Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
