OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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