btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
