so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize