he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
