If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
