'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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