I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it glows. i had to have it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Oh god it's open bar.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
