i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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