how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
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My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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