I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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