Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize