That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
