I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
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His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
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Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.