The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?