Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm skeptical of all drag queens.

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  (832): I'm skeptical of all drag queens. http://tfl.nu/szh0
  Replies (13) Good night (916) Bad night (1501)
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  (716): View more from New York

  it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.

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  (716): it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis. http://tfl.nu/lwww
  Replies (57) Good night (6137) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  myspace Music?

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  (608): How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...? (1-608): myspace Music? http://tfl.nu/kj29
  Replies (98) Good night (4380) Bad night (1644)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.

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  (973): how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/ql7e
  Replies (19) Good night (4424) Bad night (2088)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room

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  (325): I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room http://tfl.nu/mue9
  Replies (53) Good night (4588) Bad night (2529)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you

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  (631): if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you http://tfl.nu/ij50
  Replies (27) Good night (3421) Bad night (4181)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Houston, we have a squirter

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  (704): Houston, we have a squirter http://tfl.nu/27k8
  Replies (25) Good night (6627) Bad night (1471)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.

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  (512): We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots. http://tfl.nu/ta1s
  Replies (10) Good night (1296) Bad night (1751)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.

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  (251): I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision. http://tfl.nu/w9kf
  Replies (24) Good night (3743) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.

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  (715): I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption. http://tfl.nu/d2pl
  Replies (6) Good night (1245) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.

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  (423): I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years. http://tfl.nu/oqic
  Replies (5) Good night (2982) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?

  (940): View more from Texas

  Is this a story I am going to hate you for?

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  (940): Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes? (940): Is this a story I am going to hate you for? http://tfl.nu/tb13
  Replies (2) Good night (1943) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE

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  (206): I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE http://tfl.nu/qqx3
  Replies (12) Good night (2730) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me

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  (276): I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me http://tfl.nu/m1mj
  Replies (1) Good night (981) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.

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  (980): I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle. http://tfl.nu/hjcy
  Replies (7) Good night (604) Bad night (240)

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