Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'm in love with you.
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.