Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  one word: firstdatebathroomanal

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  (404): one word: firstdatebathroomanal http://tfl.nu/h4q1
  Replies (24) Good night (4928) Bad night (1478)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol

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  (502): I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol http://tfl.nu/lm4w
  Replies (8) Good night (2576) Bad night (888)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.

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  (301): Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up. http://tfl.nu/txq5
  Replies (13) Good night (2931) Bad night (723)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck

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  (401): you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck http://tfl.nu/4wd4
  Replies (28) Good night (5996) Bad night (1101)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?

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  (225): at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end? http://tfl.nu/7mqc
  Replies (17) Good night (5328) Bad night (978)
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  (925): View more from California

  We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?

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  (925): We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation? http://tfl.nu/efhg
  Replies (37) Good night (2918) Bad night (2697)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.

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  (606): I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel. http://tfl.nu/sip1
  Replies (41) Good night (4103) Bad night (1334)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.

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  (604): Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap. http://tfl.nu/0qce
  Replies (6) Good night (814) Bad night (4009)
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  (718): View more from New York

  bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch

  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation

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  (718): bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch (917): I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation http://tfl.nu/gosl
  Replies (41) Good night (38587) Bad night (1890)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.

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  (978): My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me. http://tfl.nu/a4fn
  Replies (6) Good night (2507) Bad night (700)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.

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  (541): i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts. http://tfl.nu/e6qn
  Replies (5) Good night (2254) Bad night (675)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.

  (509): View more from Washington

  Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.

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  (509): I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream. (509): Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility. http://tfl.nu/ehsj
  Replies (3) Good night (1037) Bad night (568)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?

  (650): View more from California

  I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.

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  (801): You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address? (650): I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days. http://tfl.nu/fel9
  Replies (3) Good night (1113) Bad night (460)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you fail at everything in life besides blacking out

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  (513): you fail at everything in life besides blacking out http://tfl.nu/frqk
  Replies (0) Good night (522) Bad night (381)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.

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  (+44): I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop. http://tfl.nu/8cc7
  Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (482)

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