Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
there's paper in my vomit.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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