am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
