i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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