Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
