3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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