Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
