I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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