how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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