Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
