oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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