Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
