have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
