i just made my gag reflex go away.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I am naked and annoyed.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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