Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
