Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
