Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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