I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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