You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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