I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
