Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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