I skipped work to stalk him.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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