He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
