It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
