i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
