Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
