Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
