So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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