i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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