A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
All I want is dick and wine.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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