Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
