I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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