If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
