So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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