I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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