We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
