we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
