Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
