so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
