I just saw a hot homeless man
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
