ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
