soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
