Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i dont even know how to be here
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
