he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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