so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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